Wednesday, August 29, 2012

0 Wetzel Pretzel and Condemnation

I am finding that one of the hardest things for me is not feeling guilty. I know a lot of women use guilt as a driving force in their weight loss. I refuse this. Why? Because I've been there. I've lived for a size, and that is all I lived for. I'm not going back. I am not willing to do anything or give up everything for weight loss, and I think this is good.

But, I'm not saying that satan doesn't attack me in this way. Today, my mom, sister, and I all went to the mall. Let me tell you, it's hard to follow a diet around a pregnant woman. Today, she had a craving for a soft pretzel. All three of us split a small bag of unsalted pretzel bites. I might have had 5 of them at the most, and I walked away from the experience feeling like I had failed.

How do I combat this? For seven years of my life, the feeling of condemnation regarding food plagued me. Then I gave up. I stopped starving myself, but I also stopped caring for myself. Now, as I embark on this process to be a healthy me, I find myself feeling that old condemnation-- even when I don't do anything that could be deserving of it.

 Food:

Breakfast:
1 cup homemade apple-cinnamon oatmeal


Snack
2 slices whole wheat toast w/ 1 serving size Nutella

Lunch:
1/2 my plate was raw veggies-- carrot, celery, and cucumber
1 egg salad sandwich on wheat

Snack:
5 soft pretzel bites

Dinner:
1/2 cup medium shell noodles
1/2 cup meat sauce (marinara)
1 cup steamed mixed veggies

Workout:
I mall-walked for about 2 hours... nothing high-impact today. Putting my nose back to the grindstone tomorrow, though.

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